Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

I always had problems with negotiations. To be precise - it’s still a problem for me but I think that “Never split a difference” by Chris Voss will help me with this. Here are some things I took down I remember from the book the most.

The first thing is the mood. When we feel safe and in control, we are more problem-solvers. A smile makes as more open and ready for negotiation instead of fight and resist. That sounds reasonable but the next thing surpassed me.

Let them (your counterparts) say ‘no’ as soon as possible. The author convinces that forcing people to say ‘no’ makes them feel like they’re in charge. I always thought it’s about making them say ‘yes’ but it seems to be the very first step to achieve that. What’s even more interesting is that the ‘no’ is the beginning of real negotiation.

Other things that I remember are labeling and mirroring. Those techniques help you understand the counterpart’s emotions and make them feel you understand them. Empathy is the key.

There are many more techniques we can use like the Ackerman model to be more effective in this area. If you want to learn more, I can highly recommend this book. “Never split a difference” is a fool of examples that better explain how and why those things work and the mistakes that negotiators did during method development. On the situation that I’ll remember is when everyone assumed that a guy who kidnapped some people won’t kill them because other kidnappers didn’t do that. The keyword: the black swan.

Did I enjoy the book? Yeah! It’s a good read that sometimes made me think about my mistakes in the past. This is this kind of book that taking notes is a must as well as practicing it. You won’t get anything from the book if you won’t try it in the practice. I think that this book is for everyone who’s similar to me - want to be a good negotiator and is looking for a book to have a good start. This book is a good start.

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